Affirmations – useful or New Age fluff?
by Michael Kimmel
Dear
Michael:
I liked your
meditation column a couple of weeks ago. I’m starting to get into that
kind of stuff. Someone told me that they do “affirmations” to help them
stay on track and that it really helps them stay focused. What are
these “affirmations” and do you think they really help or are they just
a bunch of new age fluff?
Curious in
Clairemont
Dear
Curious:
Affirmations are very helpful to some people and others find them not
so. “Doing” affirmations is pretty simple: you choose statements that
affirm (or support or reinforce) qualities. feeling states or emotions
that you want to experience or do not want to experience. You can say
these affirmations to yourself or out loud. You can also record them on
a tape and listen to them that way.
Many of my
psychotherapy clients who have recorded their affirmations on a tape
have found it helpful to listen to the tape when they feel confused,
insecure or panicky. They also listen to their affirmation tape when
they have trouble falling asleep or when they wake up anxious or worried
at 3AM and can’t get back to sleep. When your worry thoughts create a
negative “loop” that keeps repeating over and over in your head,
affirmations are good “counter-programming”. Other clients of mine tell
me that they play their affirmation tape first thing in the morning so
that they can wake up in a “positive” space. It sure beats waking up to
the death, doom and disasters you hear on the morning news!
There is nothing new about affirmations, they have been around at least
as long as Andrew Carnegie and his ideas on self-improvement.
Affirmations have nothing to do with religion or any particular
philosophy…you can custom-tailor them to what you want more of (or less
of) at any point in time. As your life changes, your affirmations will
probably change too.
Here
are some affirmations that you might use as inspiration or as a starting
point (thanks to my friend Pat Dunn for most of these):
Affirmations
to calm yourself down:
- May I
breathe peacefully and deeply.
- May I
rest in the breath.
- May I
be quiet.
- May I
be relaxed.
- May I
be still.
- May I
be calm.
- May I
be tranquil.
Affirmations
to offer yourself compassion:
- May I
be free of sorrow.
- May I
be free of pain.
- May I
be kind to myself and others.
- May I
be patient with myself and others.
- May I
be safe and protected.
- May I
be free from suffering and the causes of suffering.
- May I
take loving care of myself.
- May I
forgive myself for past mistakes.
- May I
love myself just as I am, right now.
Affirmations
to offer yourself love and kindness:
- May I
be filled with love.
- May I
be filled with kindness.
- May I
have mental happiness.
- May I
have physical happiness.
- May I
have ease of well-being.
- May I
be happy and free.
- May I
be peaceful.
- May I
be strong and healthy.
- May my
heart be open.
If these
appeal to you, start saying them to yourself in any way you like. I
recommend writing them down and keeping them in places where you can see
them when you are stressed out, e.g., keep a copy in your car (for
traffic jams), at work (for bad days) and at home (ditto). Put your
favorites on post-it notes and stick them around your house and in your
car.
Feel free to
make up your own if these don’t resonate with you. The object of
“doing” affirmations is to affirm to yourself what you want to be the
truth for you. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. You’ve expected doom
and disaster before (haven’t you?) and gotten it. Why not affirm/expect
happiness, peace and health and see what happens?
Some people
– cynical souls that they are - say affirmations are a lie: “I have
cancer so how can I have physical happiness and health?” Well, given
your situation, why not expect as much physical well being as you can
get? Why not try it and see what happens.
Give
affirmations some time. They are not an instant cure-all, but if done
persistently and consistently, they often bring powerful, gradual
changes. Saying affirmations is like planting a seed: it takes a while
for the seed to become a full-grown plant, it doesn’t happen overnight.
You may not feel peaceful today or even next week, but if you keep
affirming “may I be peaceful”, you are likely to experience feeling more
peaceful over time.
Try it and let me know how it goes for you.
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