Collaborative law is a process that has been used in
the GLBT community for resolving issues between partners and/or
co-parents who want permanent, legal separation. This is especially
valuable because it circumvents the use of court judges to adjudicate
issues of separation where the law has yet to be tested sufficiently for
case law to have arrived at reasonable solutions to the issues of rights
of community property in domestic partnerships and to healthy resolution
of custody and visitation rights in GLBT families. When litigated, these
issues can easily wind up taking large amounts of time over the
complexity of case law, cost substantial amounts of money for legal
advocacy, and cause complicated, long lasting emotional consternation.
Collaborative coaching is a significant part of the
collaborative law process. A couple that desires a permanent separation
works with a mental health professional who has been specially trained
in the collaborative process. Usually, each partner has their own coach.
The coaches work jointly and separately to help the partners define what
they want to achieve through the separation. They work with the partners
to develop skills so they can speak directly about their concerns and
needs, and then problem solve without emotion interfering with rational
decision making. In this way, the couple is far more able to achieve
their goals for the separation than if they used more divisive forms of
attaining a legal separation. Long term research shows that couples who
work together to achieve mutual agreements are more successful in
establishing new lives and, later, new relationships. They can protect
themselves and their children from carrying the emotional baggage of the
old relationship into their new, separate lives and their separate
families.
Collaborative Law is an alternative dispute resolution
process that has been in existence for over fifteen years and which is
being used internationally. This is a team based process used by
partners for protecting their emotional and financial assets, as well as
the emotional health of their children. The process is especially
beneficial because collaborative coaching minimizes hostile conflict in
the relationship--the one variable found to have long lasting
repercussions on a child’s emotional development. Collaborative law is a
legal and a private process. All agreements are legally enforcable. And
because the entire process takes place in the privacy of an office,
neither partner has to be party to a public forum where personal issues
are aired before strangers.
If you are considering a permanent separation, or you
know others that are, collaborative law is well worth investigating for
a healthier, more peaceful resolution to a permanent separation.
