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How Well Constructed Are Your Boundaries - 2

I don’t take responsibility for how others respond to my boundaries. If someone becomes resentful because I won’t accept a 10:30 phone call, or I didn’t wait when she was twenty minutes late for our appointment, I don’t have to try and make it OK for him or her.

I respect others’ boundaries and ask for clarification when I’m not certain of their limits. "How late do you accept phone calls?"

When people refuse to respect my boundaries, I walk away rather than get into a situation that could escalate. I say why I’m leaving.

I let people know when I have extended a boundary. "It used to be OK for you to be late, but now … "

Every individual has to create his or her own boundaries, what’s OK for one might not work for another. But every person has a right to set boundaries and to expect that their limits will be respected. If your boundaries are flimsy or worse, nonexistent, you invite drama and chaos into your life. Boundaries held firm will help make life easier, reduce conflict and improve relationships. Plus, they’re a real self-esteem booster. As the poet said, "Good fences make good neighbors."

Part 1   Part 2