Try a simple 3-5 minute meditation:
sit comfortably in a chair or sofa and let your feet
rest easily on the floor. Relax and allow the chair to
hold you up; you don’t have to do anything. Let your
eyes gently close. Put your hands on your stomach and
begin to breathe deeply and easily. As you breathe in,
say to yourself, “I am breathing in.” As you breathe
out, say to yourself, “I am breathing out.” Notice the
easy rising and falling of your stomach as you breathe.
If thoughts come into your mind, notice them and say to
yourself, “Oh, there’s a thought” and let it go. Let
the thoughts be like clouds: they float into your mind
and easily float out. Enjoy your breathing.
Get away from people on a regular basis.
Even if you adore your partner or you are the mother of
5 kids, you need to get away from people on a regular
basis. One client I know – a stay-at-home dad - leaves
his beloved partner and their son and goes to a coffee
shop and sits, reads the paper and people-watches at
least once a week. Another client of mine takes a
bubble bath and locks the door. Her partner and kids
are not allowed to disturb her during her 30 minutes in
the tub.
Create a relaxing morning and evening
routine.
When you wake up and just before you fall asleep are two
times of day when your mind is very vulnerable to
positive and negative influences. Even if you’re
super-energetic, don’t just leap out of bed and try to
control your day from the get-go. Let yourself wake up
gradually…you might even make a statement of gratitude
like “Thank you for another day.” This sets the tone for
your day. You can also do the 3 minute meditation (see
above) when you wake up. Before going to sleep, don’t
read the newspaper or watch the news; you don’t want to
take all those disasters to sleep with you. Instead,
create a simple routine for yourself that calms you and
sets the tone for the kinds of dreams you want to have.
Get enough sleep.
Experiment: find out how many hours of sleep really
makes your body happy. What time is it best for you to
go to bed/wake up? Don’t compare yourself with other
people, your body is unique. Once you find what works,
stick with it as much as possible. A predictable sleep
schedule promotes deep REM stress-reducing sleep.
Moderate your sugar, caffeine and alcohol
intake.
Sugar and caffeine highs and the crashes that follow
make it hard to stay relaxed and grounded. Alcohol can
temporarily relax you, but you pay a price later…usually
in lousy sleep or low energy the next day. If you know
you’re going to be drinking a lot, keep the next day as
undemanding as possible.
Find outlets for your anger and
frustration.
You can’t live in this world without getting pissed off
at times. Even the Dalai Lama loses his temper and
Mother Teresa was no pushover. For some of us, this
means a physical outlet. I used to have a punching bag
suspended in my bedroom, and I’d hit it with boxing
gloves when I was frustrated or annoyed. Writing can be
a good way to discharge intense emotions. So can music:
I had a client who used to sing along to Nirvana’s “Stay
Away” when he was in a shitty mood. The song was
aggressive and angry, something we all need to allow
ourselves to be from time to time. Some people go
dancing at Rich’s or Numbers and sweat through their
clothes, thoroughly discharging the crappy emotions
they’ve held onto all day.
Know your limits.
Sometimes, feelings of anxiety, panic or depression are
too much for us. If you have suicidal feelings, pay
attention: this may be a sign that you need professional
help. Call your doctor, therapist or the 24 hour
suicide prevention line at 800-479-3339.
In this world, living
a low-stress life is an ongoing challenge. Whether you
live on a farm in Jamul or in the center of Hillcrest,
there’s no escaping stress, anxiety and worry. The
above ideas are a start. Over the years, my clients
have found that this stuff works when they do it, but
it’s hard to do it all the time. Not a problem. The
focus here is on a long-term, sustainable reduction of
stress and anxiety in your life. Try these ideas and
see if they work for you, keep the ones that do and let
the others go. Feel free to Email me and let me know
how they work for you.
